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Jon Fleischman

Forever Fat Fabian

Okay, it is time once and for all to make it very clear that when you have a budget crisis that is the result of massive overspending and utter failure to put state funds away in a "rainy day reserve" (it’s raining cats and dogs now), it is nonsense to try to make the case that resolving the crisis with a "compromise" of spending cuts and tax increases is, in fact, any kind of compromise.  That is false logic that should be categorically rejected.

Let me make this as clear as I can possibly make it — this crisis is the result of a Governor and a State Legislature that have consistently spent more money than was even remotely prudent — a staggering increase of over 40% in just over four years (by the way, every one of those previous over-spending budgets required some Republican legislative votes, so while the lion’s share of the blame for this mess belongs with Capitol Democrats, there is blame to go around.

Let’s say we have someone who over eats – let’s call him… Fabian.  So Fabian, who four years ago weighs 200 pounds, decides that for years he is going to pork out on lots of food, and puts on 80 extra pounds — so much weight that his clothes basically don’t fit anymore.  In order for Fabian to get back into healthy shape, everyone would agree that Fabian should eat less, exercise and lose the 40 pounds, right?  Who would actually make the case that what fat Fabian should do is actually lose only 20 pounds, and then buy bigger clothes?

Well, that is actually what is being proposed in Sacramento right now.  Aided and abetted by a Capitol press corps and slew of "insightful" media columnists whose left-wing bias places a massive multi-billion dollar economy and taxpayer punishing tax increase in the center of their comfort zone, liberals in the Capitol, including Governor Schwarzenegger, have all signed up for the "Forever Fat Fabian" plan. 

If State Capitol Democrats, and the Governor, were serious about fixing our state’s fiscal woes, we would be looking at a comprehensive series of reforms to make it easier for "Fat Fabian" to lose all of that "excess weight" and get back into shape.  What are the reforms that should be on the table?  Well, we should be looking at ending union collective bargaining (h/t to Ray Haynes) as a no-brainer.  We should be actively looking to see what functions of state government can be completely eliminated (the Governor gets some credit for coming back to some of his California Performance Review recommendations – alas, if only they had been implemented four years ago…), ballot box spending measures locked into place by voters when times were good (such as Prop. 98) should be brought back for potential repeal.  I could go on.  Privatizing schools, privatizing prisons, selling surplus property (like the Coliseum in LA for example).

Poor Fat Fabian gorged out and was loving life on his extremely high-calorie multi-year binge.  Going on an extreme diet is no fun — you have to cut out a lot of the things that are fun to eat, and stick to the basics.  That is what California legislators and the Governor need to do now — put state government on a massive diet.  We need to lose the weight.

Now, to those like my good friend Joel Fox who prognosticate that a budget "deal" could have at its center a "Republicans support a tax increase in return for Democrats supporting a real spending cap" — well, I guess to plug that into my "Forever Fat Fabian" analogy, that would be like saying that Fabian will agree to lose only a portion of the weight he has gained, and in return, Fabian will be forced into a diet going forward.  I probably don’t have to tell you what having all of that extra weight on poor Fabian for the rest of his life will mean for his health.  If we really cared about our state, and its long term health, we would take off ALL of the excess weight AND go on a permanent, life changing diet.

Right now is the time for action, and for Fat Fabian to lose weight fast.  Otherwise his organs will start to shut down.  And I think everyone understands that analogy…

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