Okay, this has nothing to do with California other than the fact that it is one of Rep. Darrell Issa’s opponents for Policy Chairman. But this letter to the GOP Conference from Thaddeus McCotter of Michigan is too entertaining not to share.
Dear Esteemed Colleague, I humbly ask for your crucial support for the vacated position of House Policy Committee Chair.
Yes, I, too, am surprised by this letter. Truth be told, I never envisioned seeking such a position, because I’m a bald, guitar twanging back-bencher on four "B-committees" from a borderline district in a "blue state." I’m also not a member of the Republican Study Committee nor the Republican Main Street Partnership – and, oh, did I mention I lack a leadership fund? (Though, in the interests of full disclosure, the K Street lobbyists do take all my calls just so they can testify they’ve told someone "no.")
If you’re still reading this, I would like to submit to you my sincere belief the House Policy Committee (HPC) must be wholly reorganized or ignominiously abolished. In the following pages, I will explain why a revitalized HPC is critical to our mutual success; propose a comprehensive plan for the HPC’s reorganization; and, finally, in a scrupulously fair, balanced, and objective assessment by me of me, ask for your help to implement it.
[This section deleted by correspondent as its not as amusing as the rest]
If you have waded through the stream of consciousness above without drowning in boredom, first I congratulate you; and, secondly, I again appeal for your support for my revitalization plan for the organization and my candidacy for the position of House Policy Chair. I would truly be honored by your support. Still, if you disagree with my proposal, or choose to support another of our immensely respected and talented colleagues seeking this position, it’s cool.
In the end, it is honor enough serving our nation beside you.
Thanks!
Sincerely,
Thaddeus G. McCotter
Michigan 11th